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How Weird Are You?

Take our quiz to find out if you're weirder than Michael Jackson's "slightly strange" friend, or conventional as they come.

1) 1. While at school, who did you find it easiest to relate to?

a) Your best buddy
b) Your parents
c) Your teachers
d) Colin the cantankerous cuttlefish who lived at the bottom of your garden with his imaginary mistress Sue the Saucy Salmon.

2) 2. On a hot summer's day, there's nothing more you enjoy than:

a) Relaxing outdoors at the beach
b) Taking a long walk
c) Staying indoors and watching TV. The sun hurts your eyes.
d) Carving miniature sculptures of Henry Kissinger and his immediate family out of Cheerios moistened by the tongues of new born swans, while listening to the entire Lionel Richie back catalogue in Swahili.

3) 3. When redecorating your home, your ideal "look" is:

a) Hardwood floors, with warm colored walls and plenty of open space
b) Plain beige carpet with homey colors and brown curtains
c) Black walls, black ceiling, and black leather furniture.
d) You don't care what the room looks like as long as the lampshades are made of the skin of virginal meercats

4) 4. Your greatest ambition in life is to:

a) Live a long, happy and healthy life with your family and loved ones
b) Excel at your job and career. That's all that matters.
c) Just make it through to tomorrow
d) Secretly hide 17 cashews in the chest hair of Burt Reynolds, then attempt to retrieve each nut via a custom-built Dirt Devil or similar hand-held suction device

5) 5. What do you look for in an ideal date?

a) Somebody who is funny, kind, intelligent and sincere
b) Somebody who's stunningly attractive; personality isn't important.
c) Somebody who can string a sentence together
d) Somebody with nostrils shaped like tempura broccoli. Mmmmmm. Broccoli.

6) 6. What would be your dream vacation?

a) A week of relaxation at a warm, tropical paradise
b) A trip to Europe for some historical sight-seeing
c) Somewhere close to home. You don't like long trips
d) Bareback horse riding in Chernobyl followed by a week of pampering at the Club DDT Spa and Resort.

7) 7. After a long day at work, you like to unwind by:

a) Vegging out on the couch and watching TV
b) Going to the gym
c) You don't have time to unwind.
d) Wrapping yourself in Aluminum foil and laying in the front yard of your neighbors in an attempt to convince them that a stray meteorite has crashed into their property.

8) 8. Some new neighbors invite you over to their house for drinks. Do you:

a) Arrive with a bottle of wine and laugh the night away
b) Show up empty handed and drink their wine all night.
c) Turn up, make uncomfortable small talk, and leave after 30 minutes.
d) Turn up and refuse to sit in the same room as them for fear of contracting the Ebola virus, unless you're wearing your protective Gary Coleman "Different Strokes" t-shirt.

9) 9. At work your boss asks you to present a report on your latest project. Do you:

a) Rely heavily on Power Point slides and well-scripted notes
b) Show several graphs and charts and attempt to spontaneously explain what they mean
c) Bring no notes whatsoever and simply attempt to ad-lib your way through the presentation.
d) Deliver the entire presentation by chanting like a Gregorian Monk, while waving around exotically scented candles

10) 10. You're asked to throw a birthday party for a friend. Do you:

a) Book a fancy restaurant and send out official invitations
b) Arrange for everyone to meet at a bar, and drink the night away
c) Invite your friend over to your house, and celebrate with just the two of you.
d) Arrange a "Panda Spit Roast" and tell each partygoer to come dressed as a different member of the killer bee family.